Okay. For those who know me, you know that I don’t fling my love life out for others to know all. I have said that you will never live vicariously through my love life. Well, I feel like I must fling…and correct my absolute statements… I sit corrected on them.
I am in love. There it is. I am in love. Over the past couple of weeks I have found that I can say nothing other than "I love Him." Simply that. I. Love. Him. Satisfaction in my soul like nothing else I can explain. A smile on my face for no reason other than my love for Him.
I have often said that I am not sure I will ever marry. I have begun to see Christ as my husband. To be satisfied in Him. It hit me 2 weeks ago that I love Him. Simply that. Not because of any event that just occurred. Not because of a verse I read. Not for any promises He has made to make the next day better. I just realized that I love Him. He is mine.
No matter what life brings- economic downturn, losing everything that I regard as "important", death, sickness, the ups and downs of relationships, poverty of the nations, millions who are hurting and in need, elections of the most powerful in the world… He reigns, rules, feels the pain, the joy and is sovereign over all. And He is mine. And I am His.
Am I perfect? No, far from it. Do I understand His plan? No. Do I wish He could audibly answer my questions? Yes. But I love that He does it His way. Not mine. Not my friends nor my family’s way. I am not perfect but I seek Him. To know Him more, to fall in love with Him more. To be HIS. To give up the things He calls me to give up to be fully His.
I see Him here in Auburn/Opelika. I see Him in Louisiana. I see Him in Dubai, in Ethopia where my friends serve. I see Him in China. I see Him in Uganda. And love Him more for His presence there. The funny thing is, He is mine. But I share Him with others. I want others to know Him like I know Him. What relationship can you say that about other than God Almighty? He gave His life for me. He restores and renews me each day if I just ask. He pours goodness into me when I deserve to remain bitter and foolish. He continues to give each new day. He promises eternal hope.
The least I can do is give Him my all. My life. My hopes, my dreams, my future. Whatever He calls me to do… When you are crazy in love you do crazy things. Funny thing is that crazy things aren’t so crazy to the God of the Universe sometimes.
I went to Uganda last week to take a team, to do some work, some relationship building, some encouragement. Funny thing was that I felt that I was constantly meeting or doing something…and not simply hanging out with my friends. But I saw Him. I saw Him making plans. I saw Him smiling while we met as the team ministered. I saw Him saying…patience. See My vision…my plan… me at work. So I sat, took notes, and waited. And saw Him at work around me.
So, long story short… I am in Love. No need for me to buy a fancy dress or hire a wedding coordinator at this point. I think Jesus and His angels are taking care of those details. As for my earthly husband…God knows. His plans are perfect. For now I will remain satisfied in Him. I invite you to join me in this crazy, perfect relationship. You won’t regret it.
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