Well. I just hate titles in email subjects and in the blog posts. Sometimes just don't know what to call these things. So…
I try to be transparent with you guys. To share my life in a way that shows how the Lord is teaching me and using this stubborn clay vessel of His. This part of my story has been interesting to say the least. In an effor to be further transparent but not too long winded I will tell you the story.
In Mid March one day I had left side abdominal pain that was pretty severe and after a few days of drugs and rest it wouldn't go away. The severe part left, but the all the time pain remained. Sometimes it was worse, sometimes less worse, but always bad. I eventually conceded to come home. I wasn't happy about it. I like control and this wasn't my plan. But God knows best.
I came home to a MD appt the next day. Tests and labs. Another doctor the next week. More tests. Finally a CT showed what they thought was a benign tumor (Think My Big Fat Greek Wedding- I had a tumor. It was my TWIN. hahaha) So I had another doctor I saw who said you need to see this doctor.
All along the way I had people take care of housing me,giving me a car to drive, putting up with my major dislike of being a patient and being patient, and doctors who scheduled me in quickly to get this all moving in miracle time. And In God's timing He even brought Bufanda down at the most perfect time. Probably one of the most stressful points. He knew what I needed. He is kind.
So finally after another test (thats 4 doctors and 5 medical procedures) it has been determined that I have multiple uterine fibroids. Because of the severity of my symptoms and the fact that I live in another country it has been decided that tomorrow I will have a hysterctomy. The ovaries are a toss up. Will be decided tomorrow. (I want to keep em if I can.) Looking back I have had issues for a solid 2 years and issues here and there for 4 years now. Hindsight is so 20/20.
Yeah. I'm 39 and single and I just typed that crazy sentence. As I mentioned in a previous post about trusting God's plan, I've gotten to a place where I recognize that if I have kids, they won't be biologically mine. I feel in part that's why I have 80+ kids to call my own plus some here in the states. I told the doctor that I always said that even if I got married this late in life my desire wasn't to be birthing kids. Seems the Lord has prepared my heart for the events of tomorrow ahead of time.
So I feel today in some way that there should be a party to say goodbye to parts that I won't have this time tomorrow. I have a date with a surgeon and a robot tomorrow at 7:30am and I'm praying on the other side the pain and the sleeping 5 hours or less will be gone. I may or may not stay in the hospital overnight. Right now it's a guarantee til after dinner. Then I can rest and recover and get back to Emmanuel and the people I love in Honduras by the first of June.
A few people have asked how I am with all this. Well, for the most part okay. Sometimes it is a little overwhelming, but so was just having my dumb gallbladder taken out. Yesterday I kinda had a little meltdown, or maybe it was Tuesday. So I go to His word, like Psalm 91 (thanks Bu, good suggestion) and numerous other places that remind me to trust Him. My Savior My King who loves me and has the best for me. I'm ready to get it done and get home. I'm more uncomfortable with the awkward conversations and just being a patient more than anything. I can't complain or worry about what this means for future what could have beens. I know He knows best. And I know He is in it because He has already arranged for one of my favorite nurses to take care of me at EAMC. She's a supporter and such an encouragement to me whenever I see her. That's just God's kindness to me. And numerous other things He has arranged that I just won't go on to list here.
I'm grateful for the time home to see soccer games, plays, go to Stone Mountain, hang with the family and especially at Easter, and all the other good things that come along with being with my family and #village stateside. The extended time here has been good for that when I have been up to the challenge. And my coming up time will hold more good time with family and the village. But I find myself somewhat without things to do and for a multitasker like me, it makes me antsy. So I thank the Lord for the time that I have been given and recognize my calling is to be His, not just to be "there" or "here" but Be His. (1 Corinthians if you want a scriptural back up on that). To be content with where He has me as I look forward to being back at Emmanuel.
What do I need?
Prayer- for my kids at Emmanuel, for the staff, for quick recovery and God's timing. For the Holy Spirit to work in my life in such a way it is visible for those who need to be encouraged or to know Him.
Financial gifts- while I do have supporters, my finances in no way cover the added costs of being in the states- gas for one, Medical bills and the copay for the surgery ($4000- dumb robot….) I would love for you to donate to my account instead of sending balloons and flowers. Although I am fond of a fun card or note. Scripture or prayers. They are my love language.
You can donate online at
https://www.myclickandgive.com/login.php?id=26
Or Mail a check with a note with my name on it, not on the check
CENTRAL MISSIONARY CLEARINGHOUSE
P.O. Box 219228
Houston, Texas 77218-9228
1-800-CMC-PRAY (1-800-262-7729)
And Pray. Prayer is great. (yes, I listed that twice)
And as a final thought..this was given to me last week as what they thought my copay was (bad math…it's only 2% not 20%) But I think it hilarious. Like a menu "Would you like that with or without ovaries" My life IS a book. Entertaining one.
Thankful for each of you. Have a great weekend in the sun and great weather! I'll be taking a nap 🙂
Love yall. Be His.
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