I have seen more spiders catch and drag away insects since I
have been here than my entire life. 3
total thus far, prior to Honduras I have never seen it in real life. The last murder I saw on the floor of the
bathroom. Saw a bug moving across the
floor then all the sudden stop. Then I
noticed the tiny spider that had it in it’s mouth. Circle of life and all I guess.Debating leaving the light
off when I go to the bathroom. Not sure
if I would rather chance stepping on a bug or see it scatter. The insects aren’t really bad but they tend
to be around once the lights are off.
(This was actually 2 weeks ago):
I have been learning my own lesson on how God loves me this
past week. I shared last week’s message
about God’s love to my girls with you.
Then Saturday happened.
Circumstances here that were difficult and what if’s came up on a
subject in my life and I was having a really difficult time sorting through
it. I found that I did not Trust God
with that thing. It was a rough
realization…I don’t trust the Lord. If I
don’t trust Him with that…I don’t trust Him.
As I spent time in prayer and reading my bible the Holy
Spirit worked as He does and one thing led to another. And then it lead to this verse:
Which then led to this verse: Galatians 2:20 “I have been
crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me;
and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God
who LOVED ME and Gave Himself up for me. “
He Loves Me.
There it is.
And it overwhelmed me.
And a foot note in my bible led me to Romans 8:37 “But in
all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through HIM who LOVED US…nothing can
separate us from the love of God, which is Christ Jesus our Lord.”
I cannot explain the sudden realization I had after I read
this. Reading for what seemed like the
first time ever that God loves ME. I
have said it before to others and written it many times, but it seems that this
is the first time I saw it in black and white.
And I am working on 40 years of living right now. I just need to pause for a second as I type this
just to let that settle in again.
That lesson lead into the next week’s lesson about
Trust. Continually seeing how my
understanding of God’s love ties completely in with Love. Repeatedly the Lord led me back to words and
places about trust. Through texts from
friends about their church service, their youth group bible study, their own
bible study, photos of pages from books.
I cannot deny that the Lord was saying something. Something like “Trust me Child. When are you going to realize I love you?”
(This is actually present week):
I am working on week three on this. Tie those lessons in with new lessons that
are difficult for me. Pausing to think
about why I get frustrated some days over some things. Lessons about serving. About patience. About the Holy Spirit doing the work in and
through me. I’d share examples and give
you an idea, but I am just not feeling the need to out myself on how ridiculous
I can be yet. Maybe later.
I found out John West went to be with the Lord last
week. Many of you may not know him, but he
was our Missions Director at Lakeview.
He has helped to send, and take, and encouraged and assisted numerous
individuals through the years serve overseas long term and short term. He was the one that replied to an email he
was copied on to me. That email helped
me find CMC which is my missionary sending organization. He didn’t have to send me an email. He was only copied on a reply from another
staff member emailing me back. But he
did. And he suggested CMC. That was Thursday. He was off Friday. He had a massive stroke on Saturday. If he had not sent that email I don’t know
that I would have found CMC and my journey to Honduras would have probably
taken longer and undoubtedly would have been a little more difficult. I am grateful to John for that one
thing. Plus numerous others as we see
the legacy he left at Lakeview in regards to missions. I was able to watch about 30 minutes of his
funeral service (the internet just to slow to handle more). It was a blessing to worship with my church
family at home as we celebrate John going home.
And Oh my goodness at that Auburn Texas A&M game. Got to watch the play by play graphic on my
phone for the last 4 minutes. I wanted
to holler but my sick voice wouldn’t do it.
And there were only 4 danish girls in the house so I had to wait til an
American came home to share my joy and astonishment. Then the LSU game. Goodness.
I think I am just going to stay off my phone from here on out. I can’t handle it. Plus I didn’t have time to make any dip…
I have some more to say, but this blog has become draw out
so I will save it for later. God is
continually at work here. If in no one
else I know He is at work in me. Some
days painfully so. But at the end of the
day I would rather have it no other way.
Grateful for your prayers.
Your partnership. Many days I long
to be with you guys. To sit and just
talk. Many days I long for heaven. The beauty of this place sometimes stirs my
heart for my eternal home. The difficulty
of this place sometimes stirs my heart for my eternal home. But today I am blessed. Just blessed to be here. Glory to God for each moment.
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