Life can be a very precarious thing. Like James says- our tongue is a dangerous thing. Your mouth, my mouth, can start trouble or make a way from trouble. Too often my mouth makes trouble. And it’s not my friend when it goes that way. And like James says it just can’t be tamed. The more I seek to tame it the less control I have over it. Because as the Word of God also says- the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart.
I say all of this because I have been doing “Chase” study by Jennie Allen. I’m convinced we are somehow soul sisters. Or maybe I just see a lot of me in every other word she says and cling to how she challenges me to be less of Me and more of HIM.
And I also say this because of Jen Hatmakers post yesterday. It cut me to the core and backed up so many things I have been seeing as I have done Chase. If you haven’t seen it I encourage you to travel over there.
Www.jenhatmaker.com/blog/2013/03/05/more-grace-on-not-being-mean-hateful-and-horrible
Back to Chase-
When we get up in the morning we are all chasing something. So do you chase something you see or the unseen (God)?
What AM I chasing?
What is my motivation?
The more I work through this study the more I want to chase HIS heart. And I am learning the line between obedience and trying to follow what I think are the rules. God doesn’t want rule followers because then “I” can do it. He wants obedience- through HIS righteousness. Lovers of HIS heart.
Sunday Pastor Al said “Pride doesn’t risk. Because pride cannot lose control”. Oh Lord how prideful I have been in so many situations. And that’s about to go out the door more than it has in the past 6-8 wks.
I found out Tuesday I was approved for Central Missionary Clearinghouse. They are an organization started in 1974 that helps take care of missionary support stuff. It is set up for people like me who don’t necessarily have a formal sending agency. I have a pastor board that oversees me instead of a sending agency.
Folks send checks to them for a missionary, they take a flat fee (not a percentage) and take care of paying a couple things for me and dealing with the paperwork for my supporters. It’s a total and complete blessing.
And I am overwhelmed. My to do list that I have been slowly working on has suddenly become urgent feeling. And the idea of selling all my stuff next week and leaving here has become possible. Doable. Coming.
But my pride has no room to grow here. This faith journey has a next step of trusting The Lord to provide through His people so that I can actually go. Because this next step involves no employer, no official pay check. I have to trust for The Lord to provide what I need so I can go and I can stay. (Acknowledging totally than even with an employer this is still how it ultimately works…God).
And there is nothing I can do about it.
I think of Elizabeth Elliot quote I had taped in the front of my bible for the longest time. And then Wednesday night I found it as I went through stuff (deconstructing my life I call it. See photo at bottom
And there is no better place than a place of trust. Of this peace I have as I do this crazy God sized thing. Even if I have to remind myself to trust every time I open my mouth.
Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather stand in the DOORway of The Lord than dwell in the tent of the wicked. Psalm 84:10
And running in the back of my mind is one thing. Emmanuel. I think I’ve only mentioned it to one person- this connection, but Emmanuel is one of my most favorite titles of Jesus. GOD WITH US How perfect is that? Love. It.
And it’s the name of the orphanage. Orphanage Emmanuel. My favorite. So God ordained that He is sending me to Emmanuel’s orphanage.
It’s just like God to pay attention to such details. And I love Him even more for it.
If you are interested in receiving emails and my prayer card please email me and let me know. Aalongest@gmail.com
I covet your prayers as we do this together. (Because I sure cant do it alone). I am praying that I can get my prayer cards in to the printer by Sunday and then seven days later into the mail. I look forward to sharing what God is doing through this crazy, sometimes prideful in the wrong way, but seeking to be wholly HIS heart and life.
And in the end of it all. Jesus wins.
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