So, for the 3 of you who read this…here is some more randomness. In case you wonder why I put this here…I do too. I think I do it so that we can all feel some sort of togetherness in this journey to be more like Jesus. And part of me puts it on here because I am not sure I can call anyone and tell them my random thoughts crazy thoughts. And mostly so that you can see that we are all in process…seeking to be like Him more (some days better than others).
So I have a friend named Ashley. My friend named Mel nicknamed her Smash. It stuck. I still call her Smash. But the title of my blog has nothing to do with her. Just wanted you to know.
This past week I realized I smashed my arm, hand, or fingers at least 7 times. How do I know that? The bruises, cuts, and blood blisters. This morning was the most recent. I was shutting the big door to the dumpster at work this morning and pinched my thumb. Pinched it so hard that I got a huge blood blister. Couple that with the smashing/pinching on my pinky (same hand) from Thursday night I am working on about 3 fingers left on my right hand.
But the title of my blog has nothing to do with my smashed hands and arms. Well, not really.
I started thinking about the blood blister this morning and of course I start drawing analogies/parallels to where I am in my world. I am smashed. I can’t explain it other to say that the scripture where Paul describes us as jars of clay brings to my mind “I am a smashed, broken jar, good for nothing today.” I know you have had days where you have been tired. Some of you have had days that you are so smashed you can’t talk. Yep, been there. I am pretty sure I am there today, will probably be there part of tomorrow too.
I have a friend who reminded me of some simple truths today. To rest, to pray, to journal, amongst other things. Part of me is terrified of it. But deep in me I long for it. To sit? To not get to the to-do list? But I can get some things done and rest later! That is irresponsible! But…
I am ready to be put back together- by Him. By His sweet, gentle, strong hands. I am so smashed all I can do is pray this prayer that I recently rediscovered by Margaret Becker. My friend and I prayed it last week instead of the out loud kind of praying. I am dwelling here:
“Give me eyes to see You, ears to hear You, and a heart to respond to all You reveal to me. Let the things that are important to You become important to me. Let all other things fall away in appropriate measure. Grant me grace when I stumble and veer too far off Your path. Give me mercy when I linger there too long. May this journey leave me more like You at the end than I was at the beginning.”
I think I want to dwell in this prayer for a long time. It sums up my heart so much- go ahead and book mark it for that speech someone will make about me when I am with Jesus. : )
As always- comments, ramblings, and thoughts are welcome. Click “comments” and have at it.
Leave a Reply